Before and Ever Since (9781101612286) Read online

  PRAISE FOR

  The Reason Is You

  “A spot-on debut novel, Sharla Lovelace’s prose is smart, witty, funny, with a hot, sexy edge that makes The Reason Is You an oh-so-tantalizing romantic journey, without any gooey gushiness oozing too-sweet sentiment. She takes us through the lives of Dani and a fascinating cast of characters—and lucky for readers, the line between our world and the mystical one is deliciously blurred. I could not put down this book, devoured it quickly, and can’t wait to see what the author comes up with next.”

  —Kathryn Magendie, author of The Firefly Dance

  “The Reason Is You is a romantic story about love, ghosts, and second chances. But under all of that, it’s a story about redemption. This novel is the definition of a page-turner.”

  —Therese Walsh, author of The Last Will of Moira Leahy

  “A hauntingly beautiful story from a writer with a fresh new voice.”

  —Jodi Thomas, author of Just Down the Road

  “Sharla Lovelace is going on my auto-buy list. Wow! I loved this book. The Reason Is You is an impressive debut novel about love and loss, family bonds and family secrets, redemption and starting over. Oh, yeah, and also ghosts! . . . I would highly recommend The Reason Is You to fans of romantic women’s fiction.”

  —Novel Reflections

  “The Reason Is You, Sharla Lovelace’s debut novel, transported me to a small town, complete with small-town drama, a slight Southern feel, and a whole lot of love-triangle action! It was easy to identify with Dani, our protagonist . . . The relationships within the story are complex and fleshed out, enabling the reader to be in the moment with the characters. Great debut, Ms. Lovelace!”

  —That’s What I’m Talking About

  “Wow, this book was amazing . . . An amazing tale of romance and love in both the lands of the living and the dead, and a tale of how strong family bonds can form when the going gets tough and there is no one else to turn to.”

  —The Phantom Paragrapher

  Berkley Sensation titles by Sharla Lovelace

  THE REASON IS YOU

  BEFORE AND EVER SINCE

  THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP

  Published by the Penguin Group

  Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

  375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA

  Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) • Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England • Penguin Group Ireland, 25 St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd.) • Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty. Ltd.) • Penguin Books India Pvt. Ltd., 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi—110 017, India • Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, Auckland 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.) • Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty.) Ltd., 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa

  Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  This book is an original publication of The Berkley Publishing Group.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

  Copyright © 2012 by Sharla Lovelace Scroggs.

  Excerpt from The Reason Is You by Sharla Lovelace copyright © 2012 by Sharla Lovelace Scroggs.

  Cover illustration by Irene Lamprakou/Arcangel Images.

  Cover design by Lesley Worrell.

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

  BERKLEY SENSATION® is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

  The “B” design is a trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

  PUBLISHING HISTORY

  Berkley Sensation trade paperback edition / November 2012

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Lovelace, Sharla.

  Before and ever since / Sharla Lovelace.—Berkley Sensation trade paperback ed.

  p. cm.

  ISBN 978-1-101-61228-6

  1. Self-realization in women—Fiction. 2. Family secrets—Fiction. 3. Choice (Psychology)—Fiction. I. Title.

  PS3612.08357B44 2012

  813'.6—dc23 2012026617

  To Mom and Dad, who are still with me every single day. Thank you for teaching me that the world we see is not all there is.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Thanks again to my wonderful family and friends. You never know just how amazing your little circle is until it surrounds you with so much love and support. My husband, Troy, is my biggest fan, and I love you, sweetheart. My fantastic kids, Amanda and Ethan—you will never know how much your excitement has meant to me. And Amanda, the fact that you trolled the mall with bookmarks, and wanted to hurl the whole time—I love you for that!

  A shout-out to the ladies of the St. Elizabeth’s ACTS community. Your love and excitement for The Reason Is You’s release into the world was overwhelming. Your friendship reached a place in my heart that opened me up . . . and got me on my feet! LOL! You know what I’m talking about.

  To my fab friends at the Book Club Babes group—my very first book club appearance will always be special to me. Love y’all!

  To my Street Peeps, the fabulous people who donate their time to help me spread the word about my books, I love y’all. The biggest hurdle for a new author is getting known. And one person can reach only so far. Your enthusiasm and help are priceless!

  Love again to my wondrous rock-star-super-agent-extraordinaire, Jessica Faust of BookEnds. I’m so lucky to have the best. And to my amazing editor, Wendy McCurdy, for once again guiding the way to a fantastic finished book, and for having the patience to answer five hundred and one newbie publishing questions along the way.

  Huge thank-yous to all the reviewers and bloggers and individuals who have taken the time to leave reviews and even send me private e-mails telling me how much they loved my work. Writing is a solitary world sometimes, and those messages and reviews mean everything. When someone I don’t even know takes time out of their day to share their personal experience with my story, I’m just in awe. It doesn’t get better than that.

  Enjoy!

  CONTENTS

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Acknowledgments

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTE
R 20

  Special Preview of The Reason Is You

  CHAPTER

  1

  THERE IS A DISTINCT MOMENT WHEN YOU KNOW THAT YOUR DAY has gone down the toilet. Mine was before lunch, and after my fourth cup of coffee, when an unexpected knock on my front door brought me face-to-face with my ex-husband.

  Not that he was a horrible troll, or lying in wait to machete me in a weak moment, but he just wasn’t one to drop by and say hello. Which was good with me. Child support and visitations came to a legal end three years prior, so daddy pickups were off the table. I stood in the doorway, wondering who died as I ran a hand through my unbrushed hair and then crossed my arms over my chest to disguise the no-bra action I had going on.

  He gave me a once-over and frowned. “Are you sick?”

  I started to protest that not having to get dressed was a perk of working from home, that until someone wanted to look at a house, talking to potential clients on the phone didn’t require me to brush my hair or put on shoes. But I didn’t feel like having that long a conversation with him. So I fake-coughed into my hand.

  “Little bit. What’s up?”

  He shrugged. “I was wondering how much she’s selling it for.”

  I blinked a few times, thinking I’d missed something. “Um—she, who?”

  He tilted his head with widened eyes like he was humoring me. “Your mother?”

  I opened my mouth but then just air came out. Maybe it was the coffee. Maybe I needed to eat something or go for a walk. Use the treadmill that was collecting dust in a corner of my office.

  I shook my head. “I—I give up, Kevin. What about my mother?”

  “Her house, Emily,” he said, impatience lacing his tone. “How much is she selling the house for?”

  I laughed then, which I knew would piss him off. “Selling her house? What kind of crack are you smoking?”

  My mother would sooner sell one of us than sell that house. She and my dad lived in it their whole married life. Raised two kids there, multiple dogs, a couple of birds, and I think there was even a brief stint with a ferret. She didn’t leave after my dad died in the living room, and if anything could have shoved her out, it would have been that.

  Kevin’s dark blue eyes glazed over at my comment. He held his hands up in front of him and shook his head as he turned. “Never mind. I forgot how crazy y’all are.”

  “Whoa, whoa, wait,” I said, still laughing. “What are you babbling about?”

  He took the steps two at a time, and waved a hand behind him. “Never mind, Em, I’ll just call Dedra. Although why it’s listed with her beats the shit out of me.”

  I felt my smile start to fade and stick at the confusion point. Something was off. Something didn’t make sense. Starting with him saying that sentence.

  “Dedra?” I said. “What are you talking about?” My tone combined with her name was enough to tweak his attention because it turned him around. His expression changed to wary and unsure.

  “Your mom’s house? Her name’s on the sign.” He looked uncomfortable and pointed randomly at the air behind him as if to prove it. “I had nothing to do with it. I passed it this morning on my way out.”

  Another leftover piece of a laugh kind of popped out, but with much less confidence. I shook my head as I turned and walked away, knowing he’d follow me in.

  “That’s crazy,” I said. “Has to be a joke or something. I just had lunch with my mom last week. I mean, come on. Don’t you think she’d have mentioned that? She talked about her garden.”

  I landed back on the squeaky swivel chair in my office as Kevin found a spot on the couch among scattered manila folders. He moved a few aside, turning one over to read the name.

  “Eight-twenty-nine Montgomery—why does that sound familiar?” he asked.

  “It’s one street over from my mom’s,” I said, clicking through the links that would bring me to the multiple listing database. “And quit snooping, it’s not listed yet.”

  “Oh, yeah. The Landry place,” he said, and I ignored the snide change of tone.

  “Yep.”

  “Bobby’s finally unloading it, huh?”

  I blinked and sighed and continued to ignore the shiny object he was dangling to get a rise out of me. “Guess so.”

  “About time,” Kevin continued. “It’s been one strong breeze away from blowing over for years.”

  “Oh, it’s not that bad,” I said, scoffing. “Just needs a little attention. Vacant houses get that way.”

  “Well, I don’t blame him,” he said. “Ben left him high and dry with that place when their mom died. Never even came back for the funeral.”

  The old dig that used to stab me barely felt like a pinprick. “You don’t know that.”

  “And you do?”

  I cut my eyes at him. “This town can make a lot of noise when it wants to. You believe everything you hear?”

  Kevin tossed the file over with the others, and I was grateful for the change. I watched him take in the overflowing bookshelf, the three different-colored jackets hanging on the treadmill, the row of file boxes stacked against one wall.

  “I assume there’s a method, as usual?” he asked.

  “Ha-ha, very cute.”

  In our eleven years of marriage, he never learned to appreciate my version of décor or organization. Kevin preferred empty space. Like moving-into-a-house-with-no-stuff kind of empty. No pictures, no decorations, no curtains, no coasters or vases or magazines. Give him a chair and a rug and a TV and he’s good. In fact, the rug would probably be pushing it.

  “So, dating anybody?” he asked.

  I hit a button and gave him a look. “Really?”

  His face went all innocent. “What?”

  Kevin was a very good-looking man, as long as you never had to have a real conversation with him, or a life. The pretty wore thin with the constant perfection and micromanaging.

  “You really want to know about my love life?”

  He looked away with a smile. “I want you to be happy, Em.”

  I coughed again, this time for real. “So, what’s the deal?” I asked, changing the subject as I waited for the zip code filter to update. “You looking to move again? Sherry want to simplify and rub elbows with the common folk?”

  He gave me a look and leaned back, his brown leather jacket making noise against the wanna-be leather of my couch. “I’m thinking about buying some rental property.”

  “Ah, you want to be a land baron, now.”

  “It’s easy money,” he said with a shrug.

  “Not with old houses like—”

  My words died on my tongue as the page populated, and there it was. Three listings down. A familiar address and equally familiar picture of my mother’s house. Listed by Dedra Powers.

  “You’ve gotta be shitting me,” I said under my breath, and I heard Kevin and his jacket sit forward.

  “So, how much is it listed for?”

  I tore my eyes from the screen to glare at him. “Seriously?”

  He lifted a hand. “What?”

  I swiveled around in my chair to find my phone and leapt up to grab it off the top of my treadmill, hitting speed dial number two. Three rings led to voice mail, and my mother’s voice telling me how sorry she was that she couldn’t answer my call.

  “Mom!” I yelled, then bit my lip and let my mouth work for a second. “Mom?” I tried again. “Please call me.”

  I hung up and stared at the listing again as I hit speed dial numbers one and three, both of which went to voice mail as well. “Jesus, where is everybody today?” I muttered as I tossed the phone to the couch next to Kevin and smiled not-so-patiently at him.

  “I’ve gotta go change clothes and—interrogate my mother,” I said. “So—” I did a little hand flourish
that I felt encouraged his exit.

  “You didn’t know.”

  “That’s pretty clear,” I said, not enjoying his smirk.

  He stood up and leaned over to view the page on my laptop, which I then flipped closed.

  “Ninety thousand,” he said, narrowing his eyes in that financial thinker’s expression of his, and I shook my head before another second could pass.

  “No.”

  He blinked and met my eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, no,” I said. “I don’t know what’s going on with this, but regardless, you aren’t buying it.”

  “Why not?”

  My head was spinning. I wanted answers and I wanted Kevin to be gone so I could go find them.

  “Because.” He tilted his head again, and I made a sound of disgust. “God, you look like such a girl when you do that. Stop it.”

  “You aren’t answering my question.”

  “And I’m not going to right now,” I said, taking him by the arm and walking. “Come on. I have to leave. I have to get naked first. And unless Sherry-bom-berry is okay with that, you probably shouldn’t be here when I do.”

  We made it to the door and I pushed him gently out. Just as he turned back around. “Oh, I almost forgot. Do you know if Cassidy sent in any of those business school applications yet?”

  I sighed as I slowly guided the door closed. “She’s twenty-one, Kevin. She’s across town and doesn’t run her day by me anymore. Call her.”

  “I have, and she doesn’t call me back.”

  Shocking. “Gotta go.”

  • • •

  I FELT A DULL HEADACHE FORMING BEHIND MY EYES AS I rounded the block to a house I could find blindfolded and drunk—not that I knew that—and saw my sister’s car snuggled right up behind my mom’s. My gaze went from there to the FOR SALE sign looming gaudily on one side of the sidewalk and instantly went hot over the prospect that my sister, Holly, was in on it. Of course she would be. First to arrive, last to leave, always doing the right thing, always there for my mom, always the suck-up.